Studies in Spacetime
by Madam Callisto
Summary: The Inspector and his Constable wake up one morning to find a Blorgon has captured Geneva and taken over the Spacetime 12's Observa-deck!


"Reginald! Get down!" The Inspector cried, pulling his pajama-clad sidekick down beside him and out of harm's way.

"Whoa, Abed, I almost spilled my Captain Crunch!"

"There's no time for breakfast, Reginald! We seem to have a Blorgon invasion at hand." The Inspector said. He stood up slowly and risked a peak behind the wall they were hiding behind at the two figures in the Observa-Deck of the HMS SpaceTime 12. The situation looked dire. The two Blorgons seemed to be making themselves at home in the Captain and co-Captain seats. From there they could be doing unimaginable things to their ship.

"Whatever could they be planning?" The Inspector said aloud.

The Constable yawned, "Abed, it's a bit early for Inspector TimeSpace."

"Clearly that is why the Blorgon's choose this hour to infiltrate the ship," The Inspector said, running a hand across his chin. "But how in Beta-Earth did they not set off our sensors?"

"Can I at least finish my cereal?"

"Not now, Reginald! We're running out of…_Space. _Now what do you think the two of them could be scheming? There's no way they broke their way onto our ship without some sinister master plan about to be set into motion."

The Constable stretched and yawned one more time. "We'd better take a look then, Inspector." The two of them peaked around the corner.

"_Hey Annie, do I have something in my teeth?"_

"_Let me see….no, you're good, Britta."_

"Very, very, sinister indeed." Said the Inspector.

"Martian fruit cups Inspector! Is one of those Blorgon's Geneva?!" Reginald asked.

"I fear you're right, Constable. The strange yellow Blorgon must be using some sort of Brainwave Disrupter in order to bend her to its sinister will. If we are unable to free her mind from Blorgon control we may have no choice but to defeat the two of them."

"But how do free Geneva from the clutches of the super-hot Blorgon?"

"There may be a way," The Inspector said, pulling out two Quantum Blasters. "If we can get to the Phase Oscillator and reverse its polarity, we may be able to produce the kind of frequency that just might cancel out the Blorgons Brainwave Disrupter!"

"That's brilliant Inspector!" Reginald said. "But how do we get to the Phase Oscilliator? They're practically sitting on it!"

The Inspector tossed Reginald one of the Quantum Blasters. "'I can think of only one way my old friend. If we set them to stun we should be able to make it without injuring Geneva. We have the element of surprise on our hands and if we move quickly we should be able to stop them before the Brainwave Disrupter begins to affect us."

Reginald nodded grimly. "You'll need time to calibrate the Phase Oscillator. I'll try to hold them off for as long as I can."

"Reginald—"

"No buts, Inspector! If the power of the supernova core in the SpaceTime 12's engine falls into Blorgon hands the entire universe is doomed!"

"You're right. Thank you Reginald." The inspector said. He turned back to his long time companion and held out a hand which the Constable took, "It's been an honor touring the galaxy with you. The Slime Lizards from Lexilplex 5 would surely have slain me had I not had someone as reliable as you by my side. It is my hope that the two of us shall continue our journey at a later time."

Reginald stood up, his Quantum Blaster held high. "I think you mean at later _Space."_

The two of the charged, firing away the unsuspecting Blrogon's backs.

"Ah! Troy, Abed what the hell?!"

"Silence, Blorgon scum! Your wicked ways will not bend us to your will!" The Constable cried, firing as he moved

"What did you just call me?" The Blorgon asked. Reginald ceased fire.

"Sorry, but you're a Blorgon so me and the Inspector need to defeat you…" He said.

"I wouldn't throw another one of those paper balls at me if I were you." The Blorgon said. Reginald lowered his weapon.

"Constable! Do not let the Brainwave Disrupter over take you so easily!" The Inspector shouted.

"Brainwave Disrupter?" Geneva said. Her eyes light up happily, "Oh I see! Come one _Blorgon" _She elbowed the Blorgon in her stomach, "_Just go with it Britta_. You'll never win, Inspector! The Constable is ours, and soon the entire galaxy shall be ours as well! Muwahahahaha!"

"Is this some kind of Inspector Space-who thing?" The Blorgon said.

"_Yes, now stop breaking character." _Geneva whispered.

"It's too late for you, Blorgon!" the Inspector cried. "I've already recalibrate the Phase Oscillator. Once it fires up your hold over the fair lady Geneva's mind shall fade and it will be three against one!"

"Uh," The Blorgon said, "I don't know…exterminate?"

"It's eradicate!" The Inspector and the Constable said in unison.

"Stop messing everything up." Said the Inspector.

"Messing everything up, huh?" The Blorgon said, suddenly sounding angrier than any cybernetic alien slug should be able to sound. "I guess it's a good thing I'm the bad guy then!" She grabbed hold of the Constable. "I _am_ the bad guy right?"

"Constable!" The Inspector cried. "Unhand him!"

"Now I'm gonna...uh, put on one of my mind controlling wha-cha-ma-call-ems and get Troy—the Constable, under my control!" The Blorgon said. The Blorgon placed one of tiny satellite receivers that Geneva wore on top of the Constables head.

"It's too late! I've already fired up the Phase Oscillator!" The Inspector said.

"Have you? Have you really?"

The Inspector looked down at the Phase Oscillator. Sure enough, smoke was pouring out the ventilation center and sparks were flying out of it. "What did you do, Blorgon?"

"I knew you'd try and do your…whatever to undue my mind control stuff so I broke your…."

"Phase Oscillator." The Constable whispered.

"Yes! That thing! Phase Oscillator."

"Well played Blorgon, now release Reginald at once!" The Inspector said.

"I'll release him, Inspector—"

"You don't have to; I'm actually pretty comfortable here." Reginald said from where the Blorgon was hugging him to her.

"—But under one condition!" The Blorgon said.

"Name it." Said the Inspector.

The Blorgon began pacing the room, the Brainwashed Constable still held at her side. "You see, it looks like the fight really is three to one, Inspector. But in instead it's in favor of the unfairly persecuted alien race!"

"You know full and well that your kind has been trying to blow up Beta-Earth and take over the galaxy for millennia! Now, what do you want for my crewmembers?" The Inspector said.

"Equal rights for Blorgons!"

"…What?"

"You heard me." Said the Blorgon. "You guys unfairly assumed that I was a bad guy just because I'm an alien. That's species-ism if I've ever seen it! There's no reason my people should be—"

"I've personally tried to make peace with your people many times, Blorgon scum! But you, like all Blorgon's, have had the 'Desire to Destroy the Universe' function implant added into your artificial brains that all of you get when they upgraded themselves into their current robotic exoskeletons." The Inspector said.

"That's…totally not our faults! But I guess I'll change my condition." The Blorgon said scratching the metal plate surrounding her head. "How about this then: I want to join your crew!"

The room grew silent as the Inspector, the Constable and Geneva all stared the Blorgon. "What?" said the Inspector.

"I'm betraying my evil race of evil doer, okay, so let me join your team. I'm sick of having you guys all team up against me just because you're all still young and stupid and 'have more imagination than me' and have 'actually watched Inspector time-Doctor' or whatever you call it!"

"Britta…" The Inspector said.

"Britta knows how to have fun and save the universe too you know!"

"Britta."

"I mean I live with you guys now-"

"Britta!"

"What?!" The Blorgon shouted.

"In a season six special, the Inspector teams up with the Blorgon-Alpha in order to stop the Electro-men from draining the suns energy to power their ships." The Inspector said.

The Blorgon sniffed loudly. "Really?"

"Yeah," Said Reginald. "Well, sort of. It actually turned out the Constable and the Reginald were having a psychic conjoined dream in a parallel universe—but it could totally happen in the normal Inspector SpaceTime universe!"

"Then I can…join the team?"

"Consider yourself on a probationary member of the team until you've finished watched as much of the show as we have." The Inspector said with a smile.

"How much is that?"

"Only about fourteen seasons." Reginald said.

The Blorgon stared back and forth between her two new allies for all about two seconds and then bent down to pick up a paper ball. "To hell with that. I'm just gonna have to kick your ass at Space-Timing until you realize that Blorgons deserve respect!"

"Figures," The Inspector said, and then, "Do your worst, Blorgon scum!"

_Zap Zap Zap!_

"It's _Phew_, Britta."

_Phew Phew Phew!_

The mind controlled Geneva and Reginald joined in, and soon he Observa-deck filled with the sounds of Blaster fire as the Inspector and the Blorgon found themselves locked in mortal combat for much, much longer than the Blorgon would latter admit to her annoying judgmental friend.


End file.
